Now a little bit about me. I'm in my early 40s. I have a grown son and 2 grand-kids. I'm in a committed relationship with a guy that is as open and adventurous as I am which is very freeing. I grew up in a time that female masturbation and sexual freedom made you a slut. This was something that I really struggled with when I was younger because I was concerned with how my peers viewed me. I struggled for many years trying to suppress a part of who I am to fit in with society standards. Which basically caused me to cut off all sexual contact for several years. It was almost like I was trying to punish myself because I was such a slut or at least that was what I was lead to believe at that time. It wasn't just because my female friends were so fidget and up tight but my poor choice in partners was also an issue. Sometimes people need to think before they speak. Even though I'm strait I say people because I'm not going to say its something strictly male but I feel that it something that can effect people in all forms of sexuality.
Some of the things that were making me self conscious were things I should have never been embarrassed or ashamed of. Such as my sex drive, how wet I get, or the fact that I wasn't interested in just missionary sex. Now I'm not shaming anyone who enjoys just missionary sex, but personally I like a bit more variety. In my case I like to change it up and it also depends on my mood. For example tonight I might want to be tied to the bed and ravished where as tomorrow I might want something more gentle and romantic. I'm hoping with this blog I'm going to be able to continue opening up sexually and trying new things.